Monday, July 1, 2013

Your Job Could Get You Laid

LAMPS a theory of attraction by Donal Graeme that covers the biggest factors in sexual attraction. In this post I'm going to write about these attraction vectors and how they relate to some popular jobs. I'll be basing these assumptions on the obvious stereotypes for each profession and what I believe is the most common factors. There are outliers who don't fall into any of these categories. I know that. 

I use a point scoring system which grades based from -5 and +5. Looks is self-explanatory. Athleticism is not. For the sake of this article I consider the following questions when considering athleticism. Can they throw a football? Can they shoot a free throw? Can they punch a man in the face? Money is also self-explanatory but power is not. For power I break it into two areas. Personal power and social power. Personal power is the freedom someone has. Free time, ability to vacation, ability to relocate and choose job location is personal power. Social power is determined by one thing. Can they tell others what to do? For status I base most of it on whether they're given praise by movies or television. 

Unemployed: This is the lowest status a man can have unless he's wealthy or retired. 

  • Looks: Bad, the stereotype is that an unemployed man is an alcoholic bum who is a slob, unwashed, and dirty. -3 point.
  •  Athleticism: He's not working out too much either. He's probably ugly but his life has probably been harder than most. He's probably had to defend himself before so he can throw a punch. +1
  • Money: This one's obvious. -5
  • Power: This an odd position. What the homeless lack in power over others they often compensate for with power over themselves. That power translates into free time. They've got a lot of it. +2
  • Status: Get a job you hippie. -5
Overall Score: -10

The only way these men can improve is by getting a job. Any job is better than none. They can expect to have one night stands or short term flings. No relationships, no marriage, and no dating.


  • Looks: Neutral. Often physically fit but not exceptionally so. Most professions don't have looks stereotypes. 0
  • Athleticism: Firefighters are know for staying physically fit for their demanding jobs. +1 
  • Money: Low. Firefighters are not paid well. About average for most people but nothing that will stand out. score: +2
  • Power: They wear a uniform which is a sign of one's power and authority but they work long hours though and have no power over anyone. 0
  • Status: Firefighters are held in high esteem. Women buy calendar's with their nude bodies on it and more than one woman I know has a firefighter fetish. +4
Overall Score: 7

A firefighter will be highly attractive to a lot of women. He has all of the major areas covered. He may lack for some wealth but he'll make enough money to support a family. Highly attractive position worthy of the praise and status they receive. This job will increase your attractiveness overall. 

Tip: if you want to get laid on Halloween and have a good body then wear a firefighter outfit to a party and watch as the women literally molest you. 

Musician, Actor, Artist

This is a difficult profession to score. On one hand most people in entertainment are failures. Only the top 1% are successful. Entertainment is a top heavy career. But for those lucky few their status is propelled into the stratosphere. At the same time a celebrity is held as a god among men who can land nearly any woman he desires but the ones at the bottom are little better than unemployed.  

I'm not going to score this based on Brad Pitt. The top artists and entertainers receive the highest marks on this scale as they are +5 in all areas for a perfect +25. This scoring is for the average actor and musician.

  • Looks: Good. Sure there are some ugly people in entertainment and art but they all tend to focus on appearance more. There aren't throngs of overweight or ugly struggling actors because ugly people know they don't stand a chance. +3
  • Athleticism: While they're known for their looks they're not known for being very good athletes. They spend too much time spouting Shakespeare and not enough time at the gym. -2 
  • Money: Starving artists don't get that name because they're mildly successful. They're as broke as can be. This area is a failure. -4
  • Power: They have the move you. Plus they smoke weed without even caring and sleep in. +1
  • Status: High. For whatever reason we grant artists high status even if they're unsuccessful. Musicians top this one out because they easily display their talent to others. Writers are the least desired because it's harder for others to see their work and they have a smaller audience. +4
Overall Score: 2

A struggling artist can use his talent to land some women so long as he can display it. His lack of money and athleticism are a hindrance to any long term relationship.  Don't expect to marry or for girls to stay around for an encore. 

Anyone unemployed should learn an art, particularly music. You can then use it as an excuse for being worthless and fool some women into sleeping with you. You can't start a family You can probably have a few short term relationships until they realize you're never going to be Tommy Lee.

Service Sector:

I'm defining the service sector as anyone who is in restaurant or retail work. This includes most of the managers. A grocery store manager is a trumped up stock boy who makes the schedules and orders more vegetables. Someone like a janitor is also included. This is a big area so I'm limiting it to only two. Restaurants and Walmarts for the most part. 

  • Looks: Have you ever been to Walmart?  There's nothing very special about this. They're not going to be fit or need to look good. -1
  • Athleticism: stocking shelves or helping a customer load their big screen TV is not going to get anyone jacked. Forget it. They're unathletic and unfit. -1
  • Money: These guys are barely ranked above the hippies who are unemployed and the starving artists. While some waiters can make good money most don't. +2
  • Power: None. This is wage slavery. They command nothing and no one. They have no time or freedom and little money to show for it. Subsistence living. -3
  • Status: At least he has a job. +1
Overall Score: -5

This is the lowest status job you can have. The money isn't good, the work sucks, the customers are annoying, and most women will be out your reach. If you're doing this job at 30 don't expect much.


Engineers are so smart and every girls says she loves intelligent guys. Well not really because these guys might be able to design a bridge but they don't have the kind of intelligence women are attracted to, verbal skills. 

  • Looks: Low. Dorky nerds go into engineering and everyone knows it. Acne and pocket protectors come to mind when thinking about an engineer. -3
  • Athleticism: If you threw these guys a football they could calculate the wind speed velocity and accurately pinpoint the trajectory based upon advanced calculus but they'd probably get knocked in the head with the ball instead of catching it. -5
  • Money: This is where these guys shine. As they come into their thirties they're going to start making some real money. Straight out of college engineers make more than any other degree. If they go to work for the oil and gas companies they'll be in the top percent of earners in the country. +5
  • Power: Their money will grant them some power to control their lives but they are chained to a corporate desk job. The power they acquire through their money will be wasted because they'll be enslaved by the first woman that gives them any sex. -1
  • Status: The engineer is still held as low status but that has been changing in recent years. There are TV shows about this type of person now and the status has shifted somewhat. It's still not much of a job to drop on a woman to impress her but it's getting better. 0
Overall Score: -4

The engineer struggles with a lot of these metrics. He can expect to be a lonely virgin until he reaches 30 and women want to have children. Then he can expect one of them to snatch him up, sex him up, and ship him off to work for her. Good for a living but bad for a sex life. 


You save lives or give women boob jobs. They love you. This is the highest status job an American man can expect to have if he wants a beautiful wife.  Before Obama care and the influx of female doctor's make this profession low status and low pay you can expect a lot from this line of work. It's not for everyone though and the doctor does not score high on all areas.

  • Looks: Neutral. Doctors are not known for their looks and all of the tv shows about them aren't going to change that. They know a lot about the body though so they score neutral because they genuinely take care of themselves. 0
  • Athleticism: I wouldn't trust a doctor to throw down in a bar fight with me even if he could fix my jaw afterwards. They're known for reading books not tossing around footballs. However, he's not without his own form of protection. Any man who knows how to heal someone also knows how to kill them.  0
  • Money: Glorious. They're paid more than the other jobs on here. Some doctors might earn lower wages then the engineers but only if they choose the wrong specialties. Pediatrics and general practitioners being the worst paying. Still, doctors are making more than anyone. +5
  • Power: Forget it. Most doctors work for hospitals. They work long hours and are slaves to their employers and the insurance company.  They have little free time as they can be on call often. They're situation is better if they have private practice but only marginally. However, the doctor is saved because he has the power of life and death over others.  +1
  • Status: Very high. This will continue as long as shows like ER, Grey's Anatomy, and Scrubs keep showing doctors on television. However, they lose some points because people are slowly becoming fed up with cold hearted doctors pushing drugs on people who don't need them. +4
Overall Score: 10

The doctor can expect status and respect from his profession but it comes at a great cost. Lots of school, debt, and stress is what his life will be like. He can expect little freedom over his life. His status is shrinking as more abuse within medicine and the drug companies becomes widespread. Also, obamacare is going to cripple doctors and make their lives even worse. 

Take this job if you like helping people and want a hot wife, a nice home, and don't mind giving up your freedom. Not for everyone. 

Blue Collar/Trades:  Plumbers, electricians, construction workers, welders, roofers all fall into this category.

  • Looks: plumbers crack. Not known for their fine appearances. -2
  • Athleticism: Jocks in high school. They can punch, throw, and kick even if they years of picking up scrap have slowed them down. +2
  • Money: Decent. They're above most in the service sector. They have a reliable trade that will always be in demand so they won't be out of work much. They can support a family though. +3
  • Power: Little to none. Most jobs offer very little power and this one is no exception. They may have more personal power than most but very little. -1
  • Status: Neutral. Even if these guys make more than a corporate slave they're still considered low status. I've never seen a TV show about plumbers, Super Mario excluded. 0
Overall Score: +2

Average job. You can expect an average wife and an average life. Nothing too drastic. Nothing unstable. Lots of tedium, boredom, and lots of work. 

Business Owner

  • Looks: Neutral. There's no stereotype about this group concerning looks. The type of people that open a business is wide ranging. 0
  • Athleticism: Expect lots of confident men to open businesses and become CEOs. They're leaders and are above average in fitness levels. +2
  • Money: The potential for great money is there even if it never manifests. Women will often be attracted to potential millionaires. It's like playing the lottery for them. Unfortunately, most businesses fail and having a steady income might not happen. +1
  • Power: You got it baby. Put your minions to work. Both social and personal power are yours. You can vacation when you want and command your underlings to do whatever you want. However, as your business grows and you gain more power over others you will lose power over yourself. You will become a slave to your job and work at it 24/7. +3
  • Status: America loves to tout about business owners. They have positive social status but not as great as doctors or firefighters. +2
Overall Score: 8

They fall just below doctors. They score well on nearly all areas. They are leaders and can make good money. They are attractive to women and carry no negative status. Except to receive above the average lifestyle depending on success.

Drug Dealer:

  • Looks: I've seen a few ugly ass drug dealers. -1
  • Athleticism: Gang bangers will fuck you up. +3
  • Money: I score this very low. But they got bank, I can hear you say. They got fifties on the top and hundreds on the bottom. Yah, they do for about five years and then they rot in a jail cell. -5
  • Power: They'll fucking kill you and they do what they want. Ultimate power. +5
  • Status: Thank to the endless stream of gangster movies their status is very high. This wasn't always so. Before gangsters were cool criminals were considered low status. Hollywood changed all of that. +4
Overall Score: 6

Their time as dons and kingpins is limited. They run hotter than any other profession for a few years and then go cold as an igloo. While they're free and alive they're attractiveness to women is very high but overall they're failures. 

If death and prison doesn't faze you then this job won't be so bad.

There are other jobs I could cover but this list is expansive enough. There are some very high status jobs that don't fall into this category. Personal trainers, soldiers, and police officers can score very high as well. Overall, I think firefighter is the best profession for a few good reasons. She'll never balk at telling her friends what you do. She'll be turned on by the uniform and you'll have enough money so that she'll feel as though she's enslaved a winner.

How does your job stack up? 

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