Thursday, May 2, 2013

The Littlest Feminist

"Daddy, I love you," says the Littlest Feminist. 

"I love you too princess. I'd do anything for you."

"Anything, Daddy? Really?"

"Of course." 

"Well I want things to be fair."

"I don't see what's not fair, honey."

"I'm not tall like the basketball player. Make it fair."

And then the daddy did his best to make it fair but the Littlest Feminist was not pleased.

"Daddy, it's not fair. I'm not smart like the scientist. Make it fair." 

And the daddy did his best to make it fair but the Littlest Feminist was not pleased.

"Daddy I'm not rich like a millionaire." 

Again daddy did everything he could to make the Littlest Feminist a millionaire.

"Daddy, someone called me a bad name. Daddy, I'm not as beautiful as a model." 

Daddy did everything he could for the Littlest Feminist and worked until he was too tired to stand.

"That's all I can do, princess. There's nothing more. I'm tired from working so hard."

"I don't need you, Daddy. I'm independent. I'm a big girl."

"Of course you are, princess."

"I don't want you around me, daddy. Leave me alone. You're mean and it's not fair. I'm not happy and it's all your fault. Fix it daddy. I want you to leave me alone because I'm a big girl and I don't need a daddy. I can do it all on my own." 

"I'll leave then, princess." And the daddy left.

"Daddy is gone. Now I'm a big girl." The littlest feminist looked around and realized there was no one left to give her things. There was no one left to call for help. There was no one even left to talk to. "Daddy come back," she cried. 

"Daddy, it's not fair. It's not nice here and I'm lonely. Daddy, why did you leave me?" But there was no one to hear the Littlest Feminist's cries because daddy was gone. He went and rode a motorcycle, and went hunting, and spent time with his friends, and slept in till noon, and finally discovered what it was like to live for himself, and he lived happily ever after.

The end.


  1. I will tell this story to my nonexistent children some day.

  2. “Feminism starts out being very simple. It starts out being the instinct of a little child who says ‘it’s not fair’ and ‘you are not the boss of me,’ and it ends up being a worldview that questions hierarchy altogether.” -- Gloria Steinem, in the two hour HBO special on the life of Gloria Steinem entitled, "Gloria: In Her Own Words."

    1. HAHA! I KNEW IT!

      They even drop hints about how they're acting like retarded children on purpose by using words like "creeper" and "rapey" and "fat shamey" that sound like an autistic crackhead Sesame Street writer taught them how to speak.

      They have all those stupid Oscar the Grouch and Big Bird and Mickey Mouse clothes that they wear until they're fucking FORTY,they probably actually watch Sesame Street to brush up on their "higher education",haha!

      Stupid feminist cunts.

  3. “It was easier for me to start the women’s movement than it was to change my own personal life.” ~ Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique