Sunday, May 26, 2013

Heavy is the head

"Are you alpha?" She asks when they meet. And the man, young and strong answers, "of course." He laughs.  He's cocky, the girl notices, and a little arrogant but she can't help herself. He's got it, she thinks. She knows it beyond any words. And the two start to date.

The sex is passionate and comes regularly and the man thinks. "I've found something here.  My special one." And they talk about commitment. And they talk about children. And they talk about marriage. And the man can't see himself with anyone else and the woman is awash in bliss from his masculine embrace and the man is strengthened by her feminine allure so he proposes.

"Are you still alpha," she asks after the wedding and he smiles and reassures her that he is still the alpha male she fell in love with. And she says, "Oh okay, just checking." And she loves him and bares his children and there is love everywhere.

"Are you still alpha?" The woman asks as they raise their children together and the man says he is still alpha. Maybe he is a little older, a little slower, maybe not quite as quick to answer, but he's still there. He's still strong enough to support her, to lend her the strength she needs to be her best. And they raise their children and love one another.

Then one day he comes home from work. A bad day, a long day with traffic and stress and overtime. And he's exhausted.  "Are you still alpha," she asks. And it's too much for him. He hangs his head and sighs. "No honey, I'm not. I'm tired from working so much for our family. I need to take a break for awhile. Just to rest. Just to relax for a little bit. You understand right?"

And she says she understands but hypergamy doesn't. And the slow peck of alpha testing turns into a thump and then a hammer and with each test he fails she grows colder, wider, and sadder. She becomes depressed and restless. She shops too much and can barely bring herself to sleep in a bed with her husband. She can't say what's the problem, doesn't know, maybe doesn't care. And though her looks have faded she's started to notice the other men around her, wondering if one them might bring some excitement into her life.

Years go by and the old defeated alpha male feels detached to the woman in his bed. They rarely have sex. They rarely talk beyond the planning of the day. And he'll often slip into bed beside her and wait until she's breathing heavy before he goes to the bathroom. He turns the shower on and jerks off dreaming about the girl down the street or the new girl in his department. He's thought of leaving his wife but there's the kids and the house. He wonders how his life came to this. When he's done he goes back to bed and he understands that old adage he's heard but often dismissed:  heavy is the head which wears the crown.

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