Tuesday, July 2, 2013
I competed against Jesus
I wanted to beat Jesus' record but I failed in the end. He is the superior man. I made it 22 days straight though. 22 days without food living only on water. I watched my muscle and fat wither from my body. I witnessed the true hierarchy of needs we experience because I lost all desire and thoughts of sex completely. Instead of sex fantasies I had food fantasies. Thoughts of cheeseburgers and fried chicken cajoled through my mind tempting me. Women were invisible to me. They held no interest and I knew that I cared for them no more than I cared for my next orgasm. Scars that I had on my arms and shoulders cleared away. My skin improved. I could sit still, not in any focused meditation, but just sit and stare at a tree without restlessness or boredom. The only intrusive thoughts I had were the same thing repeating. "Feed. Food. Gravy. Mashed potatoes." Eventually my will broke and I ate a salad, just some spinach in a bowl and nothing else. The flavor. The taste. I knew what food tasted like as no one who has gone without can understand.