Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Of Love and Reason

Unlike many new age thinkers, I do not agree that ego is a bad thing. Ego exists and everything exists for a reason. Knowing that ego must serve some function we can then begin to try and understand what that function is, where it is derived.

As children we have very little ego. We also possess very little in the way of a defined sense of self. Instead we attach to a parental figure in our dependent state and draw from them a sense of self. According to this parent we are either good or bad, strong or weak, loved or unloved, alone or attached. While there is no doubt a vast and complex amalgam between ego creation, environment, genetics, and personality, it is beyond the realm of this writing to explicate fully on the subject.

We are born weak and formless into a world of threats and danger. So once this attachment to parents take place, or a lack of attachment to them occurs, we begin to form a defense against threats. Real or perceived, the threats do no matter. As we interact with our parents and the world around us, the basis of these threats are often founded on the decisions our parents made in rearing their children. "Don't eat those berries," the mother says, shows a stern face, becomes angry with the child. "Don't pull that lion's mane," the father says, warding his child from danger. And so the ignorant child learns of danger from the disapproval of the parent. The more firmly attached to the parent, the more likely the child will be to survive in a world of constant danger. The formation of ego is a necessary defense mechanism against threats to our survival.

In modernity a lot of our behavior and the threats we perceive have few real consequences. "You're stupid," one child says to another. And while this statement has no true life-ending threat behind it, the reaction of someone to that insult is often one as if their survival were imminently threatened by it. All fear is based on the fear of death and the need to survive. How ironic that so much bullying and belittling will often drive a person to suicide when the basis of  the feelings of worthlessness are derived from the fear of death itself.

This brings up the complex problem of emotions. Too much of humanity is possessed of mystical thinking or the idea of something from nothing. It is the idea of random, unfounded occurrences somehow springing into being from an absolutely logical universe. It's impossible. Emotions are not magic. Neither is the mother of all emotions, love.

We are social animals. A social animal develops emotions to form pair bonds. The emotions we feel are drawn from others not ourselves. If humans were autonomous creatures free of the dependency from each other, we would have no need for emotions or feelings.

Nothing in nature better exemplifies the theory that all fear is the fear of death than the hummingbird. This animal is one of the most spectacular in existence. It has no fear. It had no need to develop a sense of fear since it knows no natural predators. Hummingbirds, with their fearless nature have been seen to scare off hawks.

If fear is a derivative of death than where comes loves? Understanding the law of sufficient reason means love did not spring into being from nothing. The most obvious reason for love is to establish pair bonds between parent and child. Love is derived from the parent-child bond. The closest a person can come to agape is the love they feel for a child. In certain cases, such as Francis of Assisi and other religious leaders, or generally anyone who loves their enemy, they can also express this love to others.

Eros, or romance and sexual attraction, is largely a derivative of two things. One being a biological imperative to mate with the most fit partner. Two being the formation of mate selection as derived from sexual imprinting onto the parent figure. The details of sexual imprinting are complex and won't be discussed here.

Now comes the child into adulthood and the ego is strengthened through years of perceived threats. They are protected behind a barrier of ego, isolated against the world of danger, unable to allow anyone to see them as less than perfect. Their ego, instead of a defense to protect them, has now become a suit of armor crushing their ability to know and love another person. They cannot know another person because they cannot lower their ego built walls they established early in life to protect them.

Love is a state of vulnerability and anyone with a well constructed ego will have difficulty loving anyone. To be seen as vulnerable and accepted in that state, the same way the parent accepts the vulnerability of the child, is the deepest intimacy. To be an adult, full of the awareness and consciousness that the child lacks, and to both see and be seen in this state of vulnerability is true love.


  1. Gentlemen,
    this is John Rambo, Anti-Feminist Soldier. I am posting this on behalf of Peter-Andrew: Nolan© also now known as Joschua-Brandon: Boehm©. I am doing this because, as a young men who knows Peter well, I know he has our best interests at heart.

    It is well known that five years ago, April 2008, I spent a month suicidal as I went through the process of disowning my former children. When I came out of that rather unpleasant experience I contacted other men who had been similarly affected. I realized that many men were killing themselves because of the criminal abuse of the family law courts all across the western English speaking world.

    As a direct result of this experience, and my compassion for my fellow men, I made a vow in June 2008 to re-introduce the rule of law into Australia and Ireland. Naturally, at the time I made the vow I had no idea how that might be done. We call it “throw your hat over the wall”. You make the vow and “figure it out later”.

    Along the way I have talked to many tens of thousands of men, perhaps as many as 100,000 men have seen at least one comment by me one way or another. What I heard from men in 2008 was that they were DESPERATE for a remedy for the crimes being committed against them in the family courts. They were DESPERATE to find a way to end the criminal effects of feminism on their lives. Because so many men told me the same thing I mistook this to mean they actually WANTED to solve the problems of the family courts and feminism. As I said. My mistake.

    Through very extensive research and labour, and collaborating with the best and brightest, the remedy for both the family courts and feminism was proven on 2009-11-26. A mere 18 months after I was suicidal. The court meeting that I did on 2009-11-26 I regard as one of the finest achievements of my life. Regardless? The very men I risked my life to create a remedy for have ignored that remedy, preferring to whine, bitch, moan and complain because that is far more rewarding to them than actually solving their problems. If they solved their problems they would have nothing to whine, bitch, moan and complain about.

    The remedy has now been available 2.5 times as long as it took to develop and has proved uniquely unpopular. I am hated for even talking about it. The blood of every man who kills himself due to criminal abuse in the family courts is on the hands of those perhaps 100,000+ men who have heard from me and done nothing. I did all I could. They did not. It is actually very simple.

    The mechanism for men to free themselves now is the Mens Business Association. The MBA provides individual based services to get men out of the control grid. Such services may well save the mans life from suicide. Going forward? It is necessary to create second economy outside the control of any government entity. Why criminals in governments can dominate and control men via the economy they will continue to do so. There is no reason for them to stop. The MBA is the proposal of a second economy outside the control of the government. This is a NECESSARY ingredient for men to live in freedom.

    Only a small percentage of men will want to live in freedom. Those men who want to live in freedom? You are invited to watch a short update on how we are going in our efforts to get the second economy going. Naturally? The second economy will grow just as quickly or slowly as men join in and contribute to it. Those who want to “stick with the government run economies”? You are welcome to do so. I wish you luck with that because you are going to need it.

    best regards

    your brother peter

    1. Stop spamming people's blogs, Nolan. You fucking punk.